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Being hard to love isn’t what you think. She’s not difficult or demanding or mean; she’s simply complicated and she’s been hurt before. She has to know that you’re different, and this is why you stick with her until she trusts you:

1. SHE’LL ALWAYS HOLD YOU TO YOUR BEST SELF.

No, this won’t make your life easy, but it will greatly improve it. She wants to be the best person she can be and she expects the same from her partner. She’ll never let you give up on yourself, your potential, or your dreams. She believes in you even when it’s tough and you don’t believe in yourself.

2. SHE’LL KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE.

It’s easy to slack off and abandon goals when you don’t have anyone else keeping track. The best thing about a partner who is hard to love is that she cares more about doing what’s best for you than pleasing you all the time. If she knows that you’ll be better off in the long run if she’s a little tough on you, she’ll do it.

3. SHE’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT AND SHE NEEDS MORE THAN YOUR AVERAGE EFFORT.

She’s only hard to love because she’s been hurt so many times. You’d be cautious too if you had gone through what she has. Yes, she’ll require a lot from you, especially in the beginning, but she’s absolutely worth it.

4. SHE’LL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE.

Once you’ve earned her trust, respect, and love, you’ve got her on your side forever. She’s well aware of the worth and rarity of a truly good man who appreciates her. She’s in it for the long haul no matter how hard it might get down the line.

5. SHE’S SLOW TO TRUST BUT HER TRUST IS WORTH IT.

Yes, it’ll take a while to get her to open up to you. Honestly, if someone is worth it, this is the way it goes. She doesn’t allow just anyone in, so when she finally grants you access, it means you’re sharing something special with her. Appreciate how precious that trust is and respect it.

6. SHE’LL ALWAYS SHOW YOU LOYALTY ONCE YOU SHOW HER YOU’RE FOR REAL.

Yeah, it’s tough to get her to take you seriously. When this frustrates you, try to think about it from her side. If countless men had left you in the dust, you’d be the same way. Keep on proving to her that you are in it to stay and the rewards will be beyond worth it.

7. SHE’LL ALWAYS TELL YOU THE TRUTH, EVEN WHEN IT’S TOUGH.

She won’t soften the blow or tell you what you want to hear. She truly cares about you, enough to give it to you straight. It’s the best thing anyone can do for you, even if it upsets you, and she knows that. At times this may make you hate her, but eventually you realize she was right.

8. SHE’S DEALT WITH ENOUGH CRAP TO BE CAUTIOUS BUT SHE’S ALSO LEARNED A LOT.

It’ll be difficult to win her affection in the first place, but once you do, you’ll have the benefit of a partner who knows how to love you well. She’s made a lot of mistakes but now she knows how to value the right guy when he comes along.

9. SHE’LL DRAW DEPTH FROM YOU THAT YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED.

She’s hard to love because she simply isn’t like other girls. She’s raw and fierce and honest and vulnerable. Once you break through to that side of her, she will inspire such emotional openness in you that you’ll be shocked at yourself—and amazed by your own capabilities.

10. SHE KNOWS THAT ANYTHING WORTH HAVING TAKES SOME WORK.

She’s perfectly willing to put in the effort required for an awesome relationship—she just has to be sure that you’re also in it wholeheartedly. This is why she’s initially difficult to love, but keep on trying and eventually, you’ll get everything you hope for and more.

11. SHE’S COMPLICATED BUT THAT’S WHAT MAKES HER DIFFERENT.

Yeah, she’s not like the rest of the girls. She knows how to maintain her autonomy and independence while still caring for someone deeply. She’s not perfect, but she knows exactly who she is. Once you get past her barriers, you’ll have a very special person in your life.

12. SHE CARRIES HER PAIN AND VULNERABILITY DEEP INSIDE BUT SHE’S WORTH YOUR PATIENCE.

It’s tough to get in through her shell – she’s built it up over the years, protecting herself from those who do not understand or appreciate her. This makes it very difficult to love her because you don’t initially know who she really is inside. Keep on trying and keep on caring.

13. SHE KNOWS SHE’S WORTH A DEEP LOVE BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SHE GIVES IN RETURN.

She’s not shallow in any way whatsoever and she’ll expect depth from you. This makes loving her a good deal of work, but that’s okay – who really wants superficial love anyway? She’ll demand what she deserves from you.

14. SHE’LL HAVE YOUR BACK FOR AS LONG AS YOU’RE IN HER LIFE.

Once you put in the work and earn her trust and affection, you never have to worry that she’ll grow tired and bored with you. If you’ve got her, she’s sure as hell got you too. You don’t have to stress about anything with her by your side.

15. SHE’LL REWARD YOUR PERSISTENCE WITH THE BEST LOVE YOU’VE EVER KNOWN.

Yes, she’s tough to love. Breaking down her walls may be some of the hardest work you’ll do in your life. On the other hand, if you give up and walk away, you’ll be losing out on some truly extraordinary love. Hang in there and you’ll be glad you did.

By Amy Horton for Bolde

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