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Despite what a woman might think are the reasons why a man doesn’t pursue her strong enough, the ultimate and genuine reason is the fact that he’s simply not into her enough. Let’s settle this once and for all. He is not shy. You do not intimidate him.

“If a man is interested, no distance will stand in the way. But if he is not interested, you can live next door, and that’s too far for him to go.”

A man has a strong desire to be the initiator in relationships. That’s part of his manhood. He wants to seize the challenge.

A man loves the pursuit. Trust me. When he sees what he wants, he goes after it. If a man you adore is not pursuing you, he is not interested in you.

Men can make endless excuses as to why they don’t go after a woman. They’ll tell her anything, and many times even lie to her or go around the bush in order to prevent her from feeling hurt or knowing that they’re simply not interested. A man will say that he’s busy, that he’s swamped with work, that he has other things going on, or he might even ghost a woman, and not pay much attention to her.

He is charming, fully equipped with a mesmerizing smile and a laugh that makes you melt. He opens doors for you, and he’s even taken you on a few dates. But, what about all the confusing text messages that completely mislead you? What about all the times that you’ve been left wondering if you did something wrong to have upset him or cause him to lose interest in you?

Stop chasing after a boy who won’t give you the time of day, or who isn’t putting in the effort to talk to you. The second that you begin to doubt that you are anything special is the second you need to stop talking to him.

Don’t be the woman that lets a man play with her mind, her feelings, or even her body. A woman should be confident and secure enough with herself, and she should know her self-worth and not waste her time by waiting around for a man who’s not willing to go after and pursue her.

The idea of letting a man pursue you might sound old-fashioned but consider this: A man will show you who he is by how he dates you. The way he communicates with you, and romances you, and tries to impress you.

A real man will pursue you every day. A real man will motivate you to be the best you that you can be, and he will admire you for all your flaws. He won’t say that he accepts those flaws and then use them against you when he’s angry or frustrated with you like a boy would, a real man will respect you no matter what. A real man will lead you closer to your goals because he wants you to succeed, and he wants you to be happy. A real man will not play with your emotions like a toy, and he won’t call you only when it’s convenient for him. Life is busy, but if he truly cares about you he will make time for you, not just try to squeeze you into a certain time slot when he has nothing going on.

You should be with a man that shows you that he cares, a man that won’t have you questioning everything or have you confused, you should be with a man that sees you as a “priority”. Let me tell you right now that you don’t deserve to be “talking” to someone. You do not deserve to submit yourself to being a “thing” with someone. NO. You deserve a love so pure that even the whitest rose could not compare to the purity of your feelings for one another. You deserve to have confidence that you are more than a thing or someone for him to hang out with when it’s convenient for him.

You deserve to be pursued by a real man.

Being alone can be hard sometimes but liking someone who isn’t interested or doesn’t show his interest for you can be even more painful. Time will take its course. And in that time while you wait for him, love yourself so fiercely that only a true man would be brave enough to pursue you.

As a woman, it’s imperative to go into every new situation with an open heart and a blank, clean slate. Having said that, it’s also imperative not to let your heart fully go until you know that a man is truly and genuinely interested in you as well.

By Mitzi J Hernandez for ThoughtCatalog

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