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I don’t want to have trouble falling asleep at night because my texts are going unanswered. I don’t want to scroll through social media and be surprised with photos of you out with friends on a night I never knew about. I don’t want to decipher messages and wonder what a certain look means. I don’t want to guess my position in your world. I don’t want a love that keeps my mind humming with questions.

I want a reassuring love. I want to know exactly where I stand with you, exactly what I mean to you, exactly where you expect our relationship to head in the future. I do not want to send my friends screenshots of our conversations and ask them for opinions about whether they think you like me back or think you are only wasting my time. I do not want to spend nights overanalyzing everything you’ve ever said to me.

I want a transparent love. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me how much you like me. I want you to admit your feelings without having them wrenched from you. I want you to feel comfortable saying I miss you and I love you — but only if the words are true. I do not want you to hold anything back from me. I do not want you to keep your secrets to yourself. I want you to talk to me.

I want a reliable, loyal love free from paranoia. A love that never makes me doubt or grow skeptical. When you leave for work, I don’t want to wonder whether you are lying about your whereabouts. When you spend time with friends, I don’t want to get into a fight about how you didn’t tell me what time you would be home.

I want a relationship with strong communication. I want to know how you are feeling at any given time. I want you to be transparent with me. I want you to wear your heart on your sleeve. I don’t want you to play pretend so our days go smoother. I don’t want you to tell me what I want to hear. I want to know the truth. I want to hear what you have to say.

I want a healthy love. A love without boundaries. I do not want you to hold back your tears in front of me. I do not want you to withhold stories from your past. I want you to show me your true, raw, flawed self. I want access to all of you, even the parts you are embarrassed to show me.

I want a love without questions. I want a relationship where I feel secure. I never want to ask myself whether your feelings for me are real. I want to feel confident you care about me as much as I care about you. I want to know, without any doubt in my mind, that we are going to be together for a long time.

By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog

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