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I am too forgiving. I give out too many chances. I let people hurt me over and over again in the same exact ways.
Every time they say sorry, I accept their apologies. Every time they promise they will change, I believe them. Every time they make an excuse for their behavior, I take their lies as facts.
I am much nicer to people than they are to me, which is why I keep getting trapped in one-sided relationships, in toxic friendships, in awful situations.
I have trouble letting go of my loved ones so even when they do horrible things, unacceptable things, I still think of them as a good person. I still assume they are on my side. I still give them all the love in my chest.
I give out too many second chances, even though it keeps screwing me over, because I am kind. I am giving. I have a soft heart.
I am a forgiving person — but I am not a stupid person.
That is why it is time for me to walk away from you. I cannot keep letting you treat me so poorly. I gave you ten, twenty, thirty chances but they have finally run out. You do not get another opportunity to hurt me.
Don’t you dare make me feel guilty about leaving. You know I’m not the kind of person to leave without at least trying to fix things first. I’m not the kind of person who walks away without feeling any guilt.
It is killing me to leave but you were the one who caused this to happen. Things would have worked out differently if you changed your behavior after the first time you hurt me. Or the second. Or the third. You had such a long time to make adjustments but you are the exact same person you were then. You haven’t learn anything. You haven’t grown.
You should be embarrassed because if someone like me, someone who gives out second chances like candy, has decided to cut you out of my world, it’s not because I have a reason. It’s because I have hundreds of reasons. It’s because you hurt me in a million different ways.
There is not much you can do to push someone like me away, which means you must have really done a number on me. After everything you have put me through, there is nothing you can do to change my mind. You hurt me too many times. You made me reach a point of no return.
Even though I let your mistakes slide in the past, I cannot keep offering you an unlimited supply of forgiveness. I cannot keep placing you first when you have placed me so far down on your list of priorities. It’s not fair to me. And it’s time for me to start thinking about what is best for myself.
I give out too many second chances — but I am never going to give another one to you.
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