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You are going to lose your almost girlfriend when you take advantage of how chill she is acting. She knows you are not in a relationship yet, she knows you are not technically hers, so she is not going to freak out when you take a week to answer her texts or post pictures with another girl — but that does not mean you should be doing those things. If you want her and only her, then you need to express that. You have to make it clear she is your first priority.

You will lose your almost girlfriend by acting inconsistent. You have to put constant effort into your relationship. You cannot have in-depth conversations with her one night and then ignore her the next three nights. You cannot bounce back and forth between acting like she is the only girl you like and then acting like she is invisible. If you are fickle, you are only going to confuse her. You are going to send her running in the opposite direction because she will have no idea what you want from her.

You will lose your almost girlfriend by hiding your feelings. By keeping your guard up. By sending her mixed signals instead of being upfront with her about how much you like her. You might feel awkward opening up to her, you might be worried about losing her friendship by saying the wrong thing, but it’s better than saying nothing. The longer you go without telling her you like her, the more convinced she will become that you don’t want her in the same way she wants you.

Even though you get along with her and flirt with her and have a fun time with her, you will lose her if you never take any steps forward. She doesn’t want to be stuck in the same place forever. As much as she is enjoying her almost status, she is going to want something official eventually. If you never make the first move, if you never lean down to kiss her, if you never ask her to become your girlfriend, then she is going to assume you are only stringing her along. She is going to conclude you are wasting her time.

You will lose your almost girlfriend by failing to communicate with her. You like her. She likes you. It should be easy. A relationship should be the next logical step. Stop making everything more complicated than it needs to be. If you open your lips and speak from your heart, then everything will fall into place. You will date. You will live happily ever after.

But none of that is going to happen if you both keep pretending to play it cool. If you both act like your feelings are nonexistent because you are scared of looking clingy or scared of coming on too strong or scared of falling in love.

You will lose your almost girlfriend unless you are honest with her. So be honest with her.

By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog

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